I just read Why Are You So Sad? by Jason Porter.
It’s really good.
These are some words from it.
I FEEL BAD FOR EVERYONE THAT DIDN’T KNOW HE WAS HOT BEFORE THE EMMYS. GOOD DAY.
The only way I could think of to explain the way I was acting last night post-haircut was an analogy to the way my dog Scout behaves after a bath. She’s free of her collar, she’s all fresh and clean, and she’s running around like a fucking lunatic, basically screaming LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME I FEEL BRAND NEW!!!!
And that’s where the analogy ends because my dog would never buy something called VODKILA which is a vodka-tequila infusion in a bottle. Proceed to drink said devil booze and black out most of the night. The night which involved dancing so hard and dippin’ so low that i lost my balance and tumbled backwards onto the floor in the middle of a bar.
Don’t ever be like me.
Post script: I took this photo last night and sent it to a random smattering of my friends via instagram message???? WHY.